As I sit here trying to come up with something new to write, my mind seems to be drawing a blank so I’m just going to write whatever comes.  Have you ever just sat and tried to contemplate the world around you and how you fit into it?  Today I’m doing that and trying to find my place in this world.  The reality is, I know exactly where I fit in and normally I fit that mold pretty well but today for some reason I’m fighting it.  It’s not that I don’t love what I’ve built for myself, or the surroundings I have – to the contrary.  I think today I just need a bit of respite from it.  A moment or two to myself to reflect on the things I want out of life, and time to do them.

The list of things I want to do is very long and when reality starts to set in, I find myself having to cut some of them out.  It’s incredibly discouraging especially when each item on my list contains some form of personal growth, learning, or advancement.  See I’m a firm believer in doing things which expand your horizons and teach you something new.  That is my own personal brand of fun.  If I’m not learning or being challenged, life holds no interest for me.

Of course the problem with constantly needing to be challenged is sometimes you get your wish – to the max.  Right now the challenges are even at an extreme for someone like me.  I’ll survive it, you’d really be amazed at what you can live through.   This is far from the worst thing I’ve ever had to go through and it’s not likely to be the last either.  So what’s the point of this post now that I’ve gotten from beginning to end?  I suppose it’s just to illustrate even the most motivated, head strong or even “together” people have off days.  Days where being “together” just isn’t in the cards.  It doesn’t mean there is something wrong with us or we’ve finally lost it, but rather we all need a day to let go and not hold it together, just so we can keep it contained the rest of the time.

Days like this are good, it reminds me I’m not always in control of my surroundings and occasionally it’s okay to let someone else carry the burden or pick up the pieces.  I’m an over-achiever, a workaholic, a thinker and more.  But sometimes I have to remind myself it’s really okay to let things slide and not pretend I’m super-human.  Grounding myself firmly in the moment vs. three moments ahead.

So, “Let the Wild Rumpus Begin”, it’s time to let loose and enjoy the now – at least until tomorrow when I go back to being responsible!

Something I don’t think I’ll ever understand is the complete lack of concern for others’ safety or well being as is often exhibited in society.  I’ve seen time and time again where individuals, and groups of individuals simply sit back and watch the show rather than stepping in to lend a helping hand.  There are numerous situations where this occurs and they range from something simple like holding the door for someone who clearly needs it, to offering a hand to a neighbor with their groceries.

I understand the need for self-preservation, we all are wired to preserve ourselves but at what cost?  Do we honestly not grasp the concept of Karma?  You give out good things, you get good things.  It’s the way things work.  Is it a perfect system?  Absolutely not but in general, it works.

I think the situation which irritates me most is where an individual is getting hurt, be it abuse in any form, a schoolyard brawl, or even just teasing and words.   We all too often just sit back and watch, or stay quietly on the sidelines without interfering.

Why?  Because we’re afraid of offending someone?  We’re afraid of retaliation?  It’s not our business?  We’re afraid we might get hurt?   In my opinion, all of these justifications are weak.  Don’t get me wrong, if someone is waving a gun around – caution should definitely be taken.  But for a schoolyard brawl, why wouldn’t you step in?  What if that was your child involved?  Wouldn’t you hope someone stepped in to stop it?

Why are we so afraid our social statuses might be damaged, or someone might think less of us because we stepped in?  Are we really so shallow?  Do we really think people believe that of us?

But alas, again yes.  Too often those who step in ARE discouraged from doing it.  Parents and Teachers who are suddenly confronted with their own inadequacies tend to get aggressive, friends and family  members are much the same.  Instead of addressing the obvious problem, the elephant in the room, we shift blame, therefore successfully enabling and accepting bad behavior.  We attack those who are most justified and beneficial in helping our society.  We like rules, so long as they apply to someone else.  We want laws and rules enforced, lawsuits won and more, as long as they don’t impact us.

The bottom line is we as a society are a bunch of hypocrites destined to remain prisoners to our own inadequacies.  We easily see what’s wrong with everyone else but are slow to look internally and see the real source of the problem.  It’s a shame, it truly is.

I personally will continue to celebrate those unsung heroes who extend a helping hand, lift someone when their down, and step in and break up a brawl or two at risk of physical or social peril.  I won’t hesitate to speak up or step in if the situation demands, and I certainly won’t worry about what others might think, especially if it’s the right thing to do.

For the first time in nearly two years I looked at the stats for this site and noticed the numbers of visitors for the last year has significantly increased.  Ironically I haven’t done a thing to the site so I can only hope it’s age and terms getting out there but it has definitely given me some encouragement to get back to writing again.  I don’t know who out there in cyber space actually reads my gibberish, but I’m grateful for any who do.  If I can provoke any kind of thought or discussion, then the time spent poring over ideas has been well worth it.

Now that the mushy stuff is out of the way, it’s time for something a little less cynical.  Today I express my empathy and appreciation for people in this world who suffer with physical ailments and afflictions which no amount of medicine or treatment can sufficiently help.  Now of course there are mental ones as well, but those are for another day.  I suppose in general that kind of appreciation should be warranted but this time it comes from a place of understanding.  You see my blog didn’t stop because I lost interest or ran out of topics to write, it stopped because I have had some medical issues to deal with.  The kind which don’t just magically go away.

I’ve spent the better part of the last year having test upon test, an extensive surgery, tried a series of medications and more.  I think I’ve been to the doctor’s office so much I now have my own valet parking space and a personal room complete with concierge services.  Seriously though, who actually enjoys going to the doctor?  When it becomes a repeated event it is even more fun.

The things I’ve learned not only about myself but about how little control we really have even of our own bodies at times was not only humbling, but life altering.  I’ve had to overcome and fight through challenges I never thought I would have to and my family and those around me have had to go through them with me.

There is nothing like dealing with chronic pain.  It is an insidious villain which robs you of precious time, focus and energy.  Sure there are pain medications, but the side effect is also being robbed of focus and time as the effects are equally disturbing to the daily routine.

I was put on a newer medication, kind of a “well nothing else has worked” effort  at solving my problems.  Unfortunately that backfired miserably.  I spent months not realizing the medication was having an effect on my psyche.  It slowly wore me down to a point where I began questioning my own sanity.  Simple activities of the mind were no longer simple and I felt a frustration like I’ve never felt in my life.  I opted for the chronic pain and suffering over the medication.  I’d rather lose control of my entire body and keep my mental faculties in check than to lose my mental abilities ever again.  It truly was the most horrific experience ever.

There was a point when like most people I thought of myself as superhuman – not invincible but at least stronger than most.  I’m a workaholic, I push everything to the last bit I have in me and the realization it can all be lost in an instant has really given me a lot to ponder and appreciate in life.

I still struggle, and fight, with no means of relief on the horizon yet.  I have it far easier than so many others out there, and harder than some too but I appreciate the life lesson and the understanding of others and walking in someone else’s shoes.

As I look around the world today I am constantly reminded of just how ignorant people can be and although continuously amazed at the depths of unawareness people seem to be sinking into, I wonder if they are at all aware of their ignorance or even where to begin in their quest to educate themselves and rise to the surface again.

Ignorance as defined by Webster is lacking education, knowledge or awareness.  I am sure at some point in our lives we have each been ignorant in one way or another.  But, are those of us suffering from some form of ignorance truly blissful as the old saying claims?  Is ignorance truly bliss?

Most of us at one point or another have received an email urging us to stop using deodorant because it causes cancer, pass along a voice from a dying cancer patient, boycott an individual because the bible clearly says they will cause the end of the world, or my personal favorite: forward this email on to all of your friends and Bill Gates, AOL, or even Applebee’s will send you lots of money for those efforts.  Of course I can’t forget all of the “inspirational” stories tacked on with some form of “threat” at the end not-so-gently warning us if it is NOT forwarded something bad is bound to happen but if we DO forward it undoubtedly something good WILL happen.  They even include specific time frames for the said events to occur and occasionally specific prophecies.  If this weren’t bad enough some of us have even forwarded them on with an added note “what can it hurt?”.

I ask do YOU who feel the need to forward such silliness on to your friends KNOW of a single person who has died from “deodorant induced cancer”?  Have you seen any of the religious predictions come to pass?  Have you received your big fat check from Bill yet?  Have you been cursed or blessed because you forwarded or didn’t forward one of those emails?  The answer to all of these is NO and yet the emails continue.

Why is it we are so willing to pass along this nonsense to everyone on our email lists, risking alienating friends and family “just in case”? Why not put a stop to the spreading of false information and if your common sense fails you and you still think it may be true, why not take the time to check it out rather than continuing the ignorance? The vast majority of email urban legends can easily be verified by visiting snopes.com and takes far less time to verify than it does to actually forward the email.

But I suppose if information is so readily passed along to our peers and kin via email, is it really a surprise when media outlets, politicians, religions etc. put out such obviously ridiculous information it is eaten up hook, line and sinker?  So much of our information seems to be accepted at face value when more of it should be researched, questioned or even pondered.  Just a few minutes to reason with ones’ self should bring to light a few nagging doubts as to the truthfulness being presented, and yet the ignorance continues.

Tomorrow is an incredibly historical event in our nation’s journey to fairness and freedom.  We may see a mixed race man become president and regardless of whether or not he does win, it clearly shows how far our country has come and yet, ignorance once again seems to prevail in areas it shouldn’t.  Barack Obama has been pegged as a Muslim and Arab by media outlets and even though John McCain himself attempted to correct some of this information; some Americans STILL believe this, despite clear evidence to the contrary.  As an American it shames me to think there are those out there unwilling to see or hear truth but rather stick with what someone has spewed out but beyond the obviously skewed information it disturbs me greatly to think a Muslim or Arab American in this country is not afforded the same rights or respect as a Christian, Jew, Black, White, Indian or Mexican citizen.  Again the ignorance is clearly evident.

I wonder if people could see their behavior, if they’d wise up and change or is the depth into their own reality so far gone they no longer can learn and change and grow?  I suppose the cynical side of me thinks people rarely change and yet I have to believe there is some hope somewhere for people to step outside of the masses and herd mentality to think for themselves.  Sadly, it seems to be more difficult than it sounds as is made clear constantly with things I see around me.

I am sure I could pick apart many examples of ignorance and its effects on our everyday lives but the point of this posting is to determine whether or not ignorance is bliss.  I think to a degree it must be, or people would change.  That being said, people are self-destructive in nature so a certain degree of masochism may encompass their ignorance; although I cannot imagine how depriving yourself of knowledge, education and growth is a positive thing.  There are so many more benefits found with an open mind and seeking out truth including a greater understanding of your own views and beliefs.  It makes little sense to me to avoid or otherwise ignore things as they really never go away; they just get masked by denials and lies.

When dealing with the law, ignorance of said laws does not make one immune from the consequences, as is true with other forms of ignorance.  I am sure the large handful of people out there still waiting for checks from Bill Gates, watching their armpits for lumps, waiting for George W. Bush to make good on his promises or more are blissfully happy with the outcome they’ve received and deserve despite the growing list of unknown “friends” who now sort their emails into the “Junk” folder.

I was driving around today and passed a little girl in complete tears as she walked home from school. This made me very angry. Not at the little girl who was crying and not even because a child was in tears. The real source of my anger runs much much deeper and is a result of other individuals who have forced a change in our world that is bitterly unfair.

I would have loved to stop my car and offer this little girl a ride home, a shoulder to cry on or even just see what I could do to help make her feel a little bit better and brighten her day. But as painful as it was to watch this innocent little soul make her way home without intervening, I couldn’t. We as a society have taught our kids to avoid strangers at all costs in order to protect them. My stopping and the potential response from this child would undermine so many things built around keeping her safe from harm. Granted, I would have been a helping hand but if this child saw one nice stranger, she might think the next one is equally nice when in actuality they are exactly the type of person her mother warned her about. So, I drove on, angry at all of the individuals out there that have forced us to teach our kids to be a little bit paranoid and ever cautious and to never ever talk to strangers, even the nice ones.

There are many deep dark behaviors in this world that I can easily wrap my head around the whys, even if I don’t agree with them. Hurting children does not fit in that category. I just cannot grasp how people can hurt a child. How do you look into a child’s eyes and then proceed to do them harm? Children, even the most challenging ones are as pure and innocent as it gets. It disgusts me to know people do this, and on a very grand scale. The numbers have reached epidemic heights. I have heard and done all of the research on family history, genetics and all of those things but in the end EVERY person has a choice. We all make difficult choices each and every day, often going against our own biology, notions etc.

Relying solely on good decisions will of course always fail as people inherently choose the most ridiculous path available and frankly are incredibly selfish. Sure there are laws, but NONE of them work. The statistics for re-offending are astronomical. Why as a society are we not demanding more strict laws? We have all changed our own lives to protect ourselves from these predators and yet we have not enacted laws to really scare these criminals into change. If the punishment is severe, some of these dirt bags may reconsider their life path in order to preserve themselves. I believe this applies to most crimes, not just those that involve children. I just believe the most “special” punishments should be reserved for pedophiles and abusers. Unfortunately with our current system, justice is very rarely served.

The true prisoners are not the ones behind bars, but the rest of us. We are the ones suffering from cruel and unusual punishment. We cannot do anything without looking over our shoulder, checking to make sure we are safe. We have been forced to instill a certain sense of fear in kids to protect them from the harsh reality. They can’t learn to socialize and show respect in a world where strangers, even the good ones who wish them no ill will, are the enemy. It is no wonder our children are anti-social, disrespectful, and even overweight. They don’t have the freedoms they deserve as children. They can’t play in their own yards without extreme supervision or much of anything else for that matter. Now I am not saying these creeps are responsible for ALL of it, there are parental issues adding to the problem as well, but that is a rant for another day. Today’s wrath is reserved especially for those who do children harm.